Finding Your Village
The term “life takes a village” is one that has been resonating with me more and more. But what does this mean? When I think of this phrase, I think of the amount of support it can take from day to day to assist with all of life's everyday challenges. A lot of times, this can be something that we automatically have such as close family support. Other times, this can be something that one has to obtain such as through friendships or groups. Regardless of how this village is formed, it can be an important part of life as we work to function in the day to day.
With my new stage of life, this has been something that I have been connecting with more and more. Don’t get me wrong, when we first decided to start expanding our family we knew we would need support from family and friends. What I didn't expect was the unexpected villages that would arise to assist in any and every way.
When first heading back to work, I posted a picture of my son on social media titled “first day of school”. As expected, this day was so hard for me. I went from carrying my son for almost ten months to then being home with him for four months straight when on leave. Then all of a sudden I'm supposed to drop him off for multiple hours a day for someone else to care for him? This was a lot to take in and I was all mixed up with emotions. One thing I did not expect to come from this was all the support that followed. Immediately I was flooded with other mothers sharing positive and encouraging messages to assist me with this day. Some were expected like close friends and family members. What I didn't expect was all the mothers who I have not interacted with in years that took time out of their day to message me and support me on a challenging day. This filled me with so much joy and comfort. One, by hearing others stories and the benefits that have come from that transition, and two with the validation of emotions/support.
This experience had my mind racing and posed the question of what support is actually out there if we open ourselves up to it? It can be challenging to expand a support system. Maybe it's fear of being vulnerable, maybe it’s feeling as though there are limited opportunities, or maybe you’re more private and like to achieve things on your own. Something as small as a little post on social media opened up my support system in ways that I could have never imagined or planned for. I often wonder how that day would have gone if that post wasn’t made. Sure, my son would have still had a good day and I would have slowly been more comfortable with taking him to daycare, but I would have felt alone and overwhelmed. Instead, I was able to expand my village and gain more support than I could have ever imagined. I want to take this time to encourage you to expand your village in whatever way you see fit. You never know when that village will come in handy.
Written by: Jordan Allen
