Why Setbacks Are Part of the Plan
Have you ever started a new goal thinking, "This may be challenging, but I've got this"? That was my exact thought recently.
I've been training for months for my long-time goal of running a half marathon. I came in with the expectation that while it would be challenging, I would continue to progress, move upward, and achieve each weekly goal flawlessly. While this was true for some weeks, it certainly wasn't for all. In a moment of self-defeat and doubt, I instantly felt shame and fear, letting one "off day" in my training switch my motivation to self-doubt.
Once I de-escalated and calmed down, this reminded me of something I so often see in my practice: the change process.
Can you think of a time when you were working toward a large goal or change that was easy? No twists, no turns, just straight, linear progress? If you have, I am so happy for you! But for most people, this is simply not the case.
Change is rarely linear. It is met with challenges, doubt, fear, and even failure. This doesn't mean change can't happen; it simply means it takes time, consistency, and a willingness to adjust after a perceived "failure" to find what works best for you.
So, what can we do when we are met with the more challenging times in the change process
Validate Your Emotions and Rest. First, it is okay and valid to feel frustration and fear. It is extremely frustrating when hard work doesn't seem to be paying off. In these moments, take time to feel your emotions, and then transition into a period of rest.
Use "Failure" as Feedback. In the moment of my "failure" with my training, I took a step back to focus on how to improve. For me, this meant adjusting my pacing and fueling strategy. For others, this could mean seeking accountability, delegating tasks, or asking for help. Using setbacks as a way to find new, more effective mini-goals can be incredibly helpful.
Prioritize Consistency Over Intensity. Often, when a new task or goal seems to fail, it's not the new skill that is the problem—it's the time it takes to implement it appropriately. Prioritizing consistency, even in small doses, is a crucial tool when working through the discomfort of the change process.
Establish Accountability. Lastly, accountability is one of the most beneficial tools you can have in any change process. This could be self-accountability (setting and tracking personal goals), close support holding you accountable, or simply regular check-ins to make sure you are staying on task, especially when things get difficult.
Instead of dwelling on the "downs" of the change process, let's use these hard moments as motivation to progress and improve. With accountability, consistency, and a willingness to transition our methods, your goal is always possible.
Written by: Jordan Allen
